


Honor and Duty

by Middle_Earth_Mama



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Dwalin Is A Softie, F/M, First Kiss, Forbidden Love, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Post BoFA, flashbacks in italics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28186134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Middle_Earth_Mama/pseuds/Middle_Earth_Mama
Summary: Dwalin finds himself in a difficult situation; should he honor the promise he made to his king, or follow his heart?He will have to decide quickly, because the choice is upon him.Again, my summaries aren't the best, but I hope you love the story!
Relationships: Dís/Dwalin (Tolkien)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 17
Collections: The Hobbit Discord Server’s Holiday Gift Exchange 2020





	Honor and Duty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [klembek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/klembek/gifts).



> Everything in italics is a flashback. Sincerely hope you enjoy this story! Happiest of Happy Holidays to oreo!!!

Dwalin paced behind the company beginning to gather at the open gates. His shoulders were tight, his spine ramrod straight as he scowled viciously at his feet that carried him ever back and forth. He resented his body for letting the nerves get to him this way. He was usually much more in control of these uncomfortable emotions. Above them, even.

The dwarves of the Blue Mountains were set to arrive any minute; Dis would finally be bringing their people home. This was of course a happy event, the return of their people to their kingdom was more than Dwalin had expected from this quest. He never thought they would actually succeed, but he would follow Thorin anywhere. Thorin was his king. And Dis was his king’s sister. His best friend’s sister. 

_The corridor was empty. Dwalin and Thorin tiptoed as quickly as they could through the door, the dark, empty room looming before them. The torch in Thorin’s hand cast flickering shadows over everything, the weapons lining the walls stood like ghostly shadows standing guard._

_“Quick, Dwalin, before anyone sees!” Thorin was all giddy excitement, the thrill of sneaking through the mountain making his voice squeak slightly. He shut the door behind them and ran to light the sconces._

_Children weren’t allowed in the training grounds, they had a separate room where they sparred, with wooden swords and axes. But Thorin and Dwalin wanted to spar with real weapons. They had waited until the mountain was quiet, and, in the wee hours after midnight, snuck out to try their hand._

_“Here Dwalin, pick your weapon!” Thorin whispered excitedly as he lit a sconce with his torch._

_Dwalin eyed the collection of axes, already partial to the particular weapon. He chose a double headed model, nearly stumbling over with the weight of it as he pulled it from the wall. Thinking about it for a moment, he wondered if perhaps he should have picked something a little less lethal, considering he was sparring with his friend. Then again, his inability to heft the axe very high or very quickly might take care of that. He turned towards Thorin, who was trying out various swords._

_“Maybe we shouldn’t spar. Just practice our swings?”_  
_Dwalin let out a grateful sigh. “Good thought.”_  
_They went through different weapons, finding their preferences and trying new moves._

_“What do we have here?” a cocky, higher pitched voice inquired from the doorway._  
_Dwalin’s head swiveled on his shoulders. He heard Thorin groan when they spotted Dis, arms crossed over her chest, plaited pigtails unraveling over her shoulders, eyebrows raised accusingly._

_“Dis, go back to bed!”_  
_“Aw come on, Thorin!” Dis pouted, letting her arms drop to her sides, fists clenched angrily. “You get to have all the fun! I just want to help!”_  
_“No! You’re too little!”_  
_“I’ll tell mom what you’re up to!”_

_Dwalin snickered. The lass was stubborn, nearly more so than Thorin a lot of times. “Come off it, Thorin. She can help keep watch.”_

_Thorin scowled, but didn’t argue further, turning his back on the other two and swinging his sword wildly the other direction. Dis turned to Dwalin and shot him a self-satisfied grin, mischief alight in her eyes._

_Dis had joined Dwalin and Thorin on every adventure they had after that night throughout the rest of their childhoods. She was smart, resourceful, and charming. It got them into a lot of places they shouldn’t have been, and got them out of trouble sometimes when they were caught._

The dwarves of the Blue Mountains were coming ever closer, the caravan becoming more and more clear as the group approached Erebor. The excitement of the dwarves awaiting the arrival of their loved ones was palpable. It made Dwalin anxious and fidgety. He was nearly crawling out of his skin, palms sweating, hands shaking, and breaths short and shallow in his chest. He tried to reason with himself, there was no need for him to feel so nervous, but no matter how he tried to remind himself that this was Dis, a dam he knew and respected, a dam he had grown up with, had spent countless hours with; he couldn’t shake his absolute dread at the thought of seeing her again.

The dwarves within the mountain were gathering around the gates. Dwalin retook his place with the company, keeping himself near the back. Perhaps if he simply refused to meet her eye, Dis would not approach him, at least, not here in front of everyone. 

Great. Now he was avoiding conflict. Dwalin groaned inwardly. He tried very hard to remind himself he wasn’t afraid of anything.

_“Teach me to use a sword.”_  
_The sudden command nearly made Dwalin drop his axe. He had been deep in his own head, working his war hammers two handed and preparing for when he would hopefully join the royal guards. He turned around, finding Dis standing in the very place she had stood the night he and Thorin had snuck out, arms crossed in the very same stance. Only now, Dis was nearly a fully grown dam. She took her role as princess very seriously, but King Thror had forbid her from learning to fight. Dwalin assumed it had something to do with the fact that dams were so rare, and as such, the king didn’t want to equip the princess with the knowledge of how to fight. If given that, she would undoubtably insist on joining every battle and skirmish the kingdom encountered, therefore putting herself in harm’s way. Thror would do everything in his power to keep that from happening._

_“What do ya think ya need to learn to fight for?” Dwalin asked irritably._  
_Dis gave him a sidelong grin as she came closer. “I asked Brogan to teach me.”_

_Dwalin swallowed, unsure why he suddenly felt a squeeze of jealousy in his gut._

_“He said he was afraid of how the king would react if he taught me to fight.” She stopped inches away from Dwalin, challenge in her eyes. “Are you afraid?”_  
_“You know I fear nothing,” Dwalin answered firmly._  
_“Then will you teach me?”_

_Dwalin sighed. He had already known he would give in, from the moment Dis had first made her request. “Aye. I’ll teach ya, lass. We’ll start with a dagger.”_

_They practiced for hours. Dis was a fast learner, she improved with the slightest direction from Dwalin, and he couldn’t help but grin stupidly every time she executed an attack flawlessly. By the time they moved on to swords, they were both sweaty, chests heaving with panting breaths._

_“Alright, lass, wide stance. Keep one foot slightly ahead of the other, it’ll help you to hold your balance,” Dwalin said as he took his place in front of the dam. He waited for her nod, then he struck. She parried easily, the sound of their swords clashing rang through the room, followed by Dis’s roar of frustration as Dwalin knocked her blade from her hand. She retrieved it, then retook her place quickly._

_“Again,” she commanded._

_They moved in tandem, swinging with sure strokes until Dis manage to catch the back of his heel with a swift kick. He went down onto his back like a ton of rock, and she was quick to pin him, dropping her sword and pulling the dagger from beneath her skirts to hold against his throat. He froze, her sudden proximity a dizzying surprise. Her left hand was placed close to his head, holding much of her weight. Her knees rested at either side of his hips, the heat rolling off of her in waves._

_“Well done, lass,” Dwalin smiled as he attempted to catch his breath. “But if there is more than one enemy, I wouldn’t let my sword touch the ground. Could prove to be a fatal mistake.”_

_Dis raised an eyebrow in challenge. “I’m not worried. Right now, there is only you.” The change in the air was instantaneous, and it made it impossible for Dwalin to slow his breaths. He felt his heart rate pick up, his mouth suddenly going dry as the look on Dis’s face shifted from determined and proud, to something a bit softer, more vulnerable and uncertain. They were nearly nose to nose before Dwalin realized he had sat up, and his arms wrapped around her waist almost automatically. She sat over his lap, hands settled on his shoulders, dagger forgotten on the floor beside her knee. He brought a hand up to brush the hair from her face, and she tucked her chin shyly and looked up at him from beneath her lashes._

_How had it only occurred to him now that Dis had grown into a beautiful, fierce dam?_

_“What is going on in here?!”_

_The outraged voice sent Dis leaping from his lap. She reached down and helped him to his feet as Thorin thundered toward them. Without warning, he pulled back and punched Dwalin in the nose._

_“Thorin!” Dis tried to push her brother back, but he was as immovable as the mountain. He turned to face her, rage in his eyes. “Go.” His command was clear, spat through gritted teeth._

_“You won’t hurt him?” Dis asked, even as she began moving toward the door._  
_Thorin closed his eyes, his fury simmering to a lower boil. “Dis, go.”_  
_“Not until you swear to me you won’t hurt him.”_

_Thorin’s eyes went skyward as he took a steadying breath. “On my word, Dis, I will not lay another hand on Dwalin.”_

_Dis seemed a bit apprehensive. She gave Dwalin a nervous glance, and at his nod, she left the room._

_“My sister, Dwalin?” Thorin asked, the outrage plain on his face._  
_“What about her, Thorin?” Dwalin challenged._  
_“I saw her! She was… all over you!”_  
_“I was just teaching her to defend herself!”_  
_“I saw the way you were looking at each other!”_  
_“Thorin, I swear, I only want her to be able to protect herself!”_  
_“Promise you won’t fall in love with Dis! That you won’t ever touch her. Swear it!”_  
_“What? Are you mad?!”_  
_“Swear it!!!”_  
_“I swear, I will never fall in love with your sister. I’ll never touch her, Thorin. You’re my best friend. I would never betray you that way.”_

Dwalin closed his eyes at the memory. It was nearly unbearable to remember his vow to his friend, now his king. No matter the situation, Dwalin would never break a vow to Thorin, king or no. He had sworn to keep his distance from Dis, and so he would.

_It was easy for Dwalin, keeping his vow after he had made it. The dragon came shortly after, and romance was the furthest thing from his mind. Their people struggled for so long, wandering, not belonging anywhere. Dwalin’s respect and admiration of Dis grew, as she cared for their people and helped Thorin to lead. Their grandfather was quite mad by that point, and as such, Thorin and Dis carried much of the burden of ruling. They helped find food and shelter, often giving of their own in order for the rest to survive._

_It nearly killed Dwalin, when Dis married Vili. He spent three days in silence, and he refused to eat. When Thorin’s worry began to peak so much that he was beginning to neglect his duties, Dwalin pushed through and started eating again. He couldn’t bear to be the reason Thorin wasn’t focusing on their people._

_So Dwalin watched in silence as Dis gave Vili two sons. As those sons wormed their way into Dwalin’s heart, much as he tried to deny it. The hardest part, for Dwalin, was watching Dis as she mourned her husband, mourned his loss to an orc attack on the road. It nearly broke her, and Dwalin would have done anything to take that pain from her._

_But Dis was strong. She endured, and her heart healed, stronger and more resilient than before._

_It was soon after Dis had finally begun to smile again that the dwarves went to Moria. King Thror wanting to take back a dwarven kingdom to rule from._

_It was a fool’s errand from the beginning._

_Much of their number were slaughtered, the survivors disheartened and weak by the end of it. Dwalin took heart when he found his brother, still alive and little worse for wear on the battlefield. The orcs were defeated, but only just. Thorin had turned the tide of the battle. Taking up an oaken branch as a shield, he had defeated Azog. Dwalin clapped the new king on the back, both of them dizzy with the relief of their survival. It was then that Thorin’s gaze shifted, shock and confusion filling his eyes as he stared over Dwalin’s shoulder._

_Dwalin turned to follow Thorin’s gaze, his jaw dropping when he beheld the sight._

_Dis. She had left the dams and the children. She stood now, sword thick with orc blood, hair matted and filthy, blood spattering her face as she gave them a crooked grin and a raised eyebrow._

_Dwalin felt his face growing hot, jaw slack and adrenaline skittering through his veins at the glorious sight before him. He met Dis’s eye, and she gave him a wink, and turned to help gather the wounded._

_Shit._  
_He was done for. His heart would only ever belong to her, and her alone._

The caravan had come close enough that individual faces could finally be made out. Dis. Her face was clear as day as she proudly led their people. The sun shone bright and high in the sky, casting her in an ethereal golden glow that glistened off her raven hair. Her face was strong and proud, chin held high, but her eyes were laughing, a smile breaking across her stoic features as home was coming nearer. 

Oh, how Dwalin loved Dis. He craved her with his very soul, every cell within his body screamed for him to run to her, to grab her up and pull her close and finally, finally taste her lips. 

He couldn’t do this.

Dwalin felt as though he were being torn in two. His loyalty had never felt so heavy and impossible; loyalty to his king. And loyalty to his heart. 

_Dwalin wandered home, anxious after a night of planning with Thorin. They would leave tomorrow for Erebor, eleven others in their company. Dwalin wasn’t thrilled with the low number, and even less thrilled with the fact that so many of them were either very young, or getting quite on in years. He knew Thorin felt the same, but the king wouldn’t give up his mission. No other would risk such a quest, and Thorin could wait no longer. If they were ever to reclaim their kingdom, it would have to be now._

_“So,” a voice called from across the road. “I suppose next I see you it will be Captain Dwalin?”_

_“Lady Dis.” Dwalin turned to face the dam, a grin playing about his lips. “It is late for wandering outside alone. There may be scoundrels and thieves about.”_

_Dis smirked, nearly rolling her eyes as she came to his side. “Only scoundrel I see here is you.” She playfully nudged him with an elbow, and Dwalin could almost imagine they were children again, bantering and challenging each other as they got into mischief around the mountain. But Dis was a lady now, and Dwalin far too old for such games._

_“Just heading home before the big day,” Dwalin answered somberly._

_Lady Dis took a deep inhale, obviously preparing to say something difficult. She glanced sidelong at Dwalin, then licked her lips. “Take care of Thorin and my boys?” she finally asked softly._

_Dwalin stopped short. He had never heard Dis sound afraid, but he couldn’t imagine how she must feel, forced to stay behind while all that was left of her kin headed off to reclaim the mountain from a dragon. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists at his sides, unused to the emotion welling up within him. He steeled himself, then turned to face the dwarrowdam._

_“I give you my word, My Lady, I will protect your brother and your sons with my life. I will do all in my power to keep them whole and hale and return them to you.”_

_“And what of you? Will you swear to be waiting for me when finally our people return to the mountain?”_

_The open vulnerable look in her eyes was too much for Dwalin. He sniffed against the onslaught of emotion, glancing away and blinking rapidly._

_Dwalin didn’t expect he would survive. He didn’t expect to see the dwarves return to Erebor. How could he tell Dis that? Alternatively, how could he lie to her, promise her he would live, when all he could see in his future was certain death? Not to mention, there could be no future for them, even if he were to live. He had already made an oath against it._

_“I-“ He stammered, and Dis furrowed her brow at the uncharacteristic loss for words. Dwalin sighed. “I will do my best,” he settled for, and Dis seemed to know what he meant. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and took a deep inhale. “Mahal be with you, Amralime.”_

_The shock of her words took the very breath from his lungs. His eyes grew wide and he barely concealed his gasp of disbelief at the declaration. He floundered for a few moments, mouth gaping slightly as he struggled to find the right words._

_“Dis,” he started warningly, his head shaking slowly. “I can’t-“ he closed his eyes again, clenching his jaw against the bile at the back of his tongue. A warm hand settled gently on his arm, and it took everything in him not to reach up and take it in his own._  
_“Dwalin?” her voice was soft as gossamer on the wind, yet it nearly broke him into a thousand pieces. His eyes finally opened, and he settled them on hers with determination._  
_“I’m sorry, Dis. I cannot give you what you seek.”_

_Dwalin could have sworn he saw moisture gathering in her eyes as she turned to leave. He thought he should stop her. Should say something, anything to make her stay, to come home with him and let him hold her, but the words caught in his throat. He choked them down with difficulty as Dis flickered out of sight into the shadows of the night. The only words he could find in his head were “duty”, “honor”, and “betrayal”._

Dwalin growled again. How could he possibly face her now? What would he say to her when he saw her again? 

Dwalin averted his eyes as he felt them well up with tears. It was very rarely that he let emotion touch him like this, but the pain of seeing her again, the pain of knowing he didn’t have the strength to turn her away again weighed on him like an anvil on his chest. 

“Dwalin?”

Dwalin nearly leapt out of his skin at the sound of Thorin’s voice, his guilt made all the more palpable as he heard the voice of the one whom his heart had forced him to betray.

“Are you alright?” The concern in Thorin’s eyes made Dwalin feel even worse. How could Thorin care so deeply, while Dwalin sat warring with himself and breaking his vow to him?

“It’s nothin,” Dwalin grumbled. He hoped he didn’t sound as wretched as he felt. He always sounded grumpy, maybe Thorin would brush it off as he was just tired and in need of an ale. 

Dwalin flinched as Thorin came closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. “This should be a joyous day, a victory for our people. What could possibly be troubling you? You look like shit, brother.”

The flinch turned into a grimace at the king’s choice of endearment.

“I said it’s nothing, Thorin. I’m fine. Just a headache.”

Thorin removed his hand from Dwalin’s shoulder, shooting his friend a skeptical look, then turned as the very dam of Dwalin’s troubles approached. 

“Dis!” Thorin lunged forward, catching his little sister in a tight and relieved hug. He picked her up and spun her, thrilled to be reunited at last. “Come sister, greet your sons and meet my hobbit!” The dwarf king took Dis by the hand and led her over, where she was quickly smothered by an overexcited Fili and Kili. Thorin chuckled, his gaze shifting over where he caught a glimpse of Dwalin, eyes heavy with sorrow as he retreated quickly down a side corridor.

Dwalin moved as swiftly as he was capable. The heavy, hot weight of dread held low in his gut. Thorin saw. He was certain Thorin had seen the longing in his eyes. He hoped it would be enough for the king that Dwalin held himself at bay, he would never act on his feelings. Would never-  
“Dwalin!” 

Thorin’s voice nearly brought Dwalin to his knees as a firm grip suddenly wrapped around his forearm and spun him around.

“Thorin,” Dwalin shook his head, his mouth working silently.  
“What’s going on?” Thorin asked, once again the concerned friend.  
“I- nothing! I fancied a pint, is all!”  
“Dwalin,” Thorin was giving him the ‘don’t bullshit me’ look, and Dwalin wasn’t sure he could talk his way out of this one.  
“Look, I haven’t broken my vow, well not entirely. I can’t help the way I feel, but I haven’t acted on… on anything, and even turned her down because I would never….. I would never betray you, Thorin. You have to know that.” 

Dwalin waited with bated breath for Thorin’s anger to flare. What he wasn’t expecting was the confused look his friend was now giving him.

“What are you talking about?”  
“Dis! I’m talking about Dis!” Dwalin bellowed, jumping back and beginning to pace.  
“Dis?” Thorin asked, thinking back on the very few vows he and Dwalin had made to each other. Most of them involved vows of protection and loyalty, then the memory of two adolescent dwarves caught nearly kissing in the training rooms flashed across his brain.

“Oh. Oh, Dwalin, are you in love with Dis?” Thorin gave Dwalin an incredulous look, one Dwalin was terrified would turn to ire when he admitted it.

“I’m sorry Thorin. I swear, I’ve never touched her,” Dwalin had stopped pacing, his hands now held out in a show of surrender, as though he were expecting Thorin to charge him.

“How long?” Thorin asked with a frown.  
“Since Moria,” Dwalin admitted miserably.

The look Thorin gave him was disbelief beyond any Dwalin had seen on his friend’s face since the dragon came.

“We were kids, Dwalin. Nearly children when I made you promise me that. I was a stupid, jealous child. That was so very many years ago. I would never try to stand in the way of your happiness, and I would be an idiot to try to stand in Dis’s way.” Thorin chuckled, still astounded that Dwalin had kept himself so miserable over a promise made as adolescents. 

Dwalin was still apprehensive. He couldn’t believe Thorin would allow him to court his sister just like that. 

Thorin put his hand gently on Dwalin’s shoulders, leveling him with an encouraging smile.  
“Dwalin, go. Go to her.”  
“You’re serious?”  
“Yes, you idiot, go!” 

Dwalin didn’t waste a moment. He half-hugged Thorin before he turned on his heel and hastily headed back down the corridor. 

*****

Dis had finally just managed to convince her sons to give her a moment. Thrilled as she was to see them, she desperately needed time to unwind, the journey had been long and arduous. She wanted a bath, maybe an ale, and a good night’s rest. She would spend the day with Fili and Kili tomorrow, and every day for the rest of her life after that. She would show them the mountain, show them where she had grown up, where she and their uncle had wreaked havoc. Where they played and where they had their lessons. 

Dis held her mug with both hands, freshly bathed and sitting in a chair by the fire, watching the flames dance. The ale warmed her from the inside out, but not near as much as having her home and her family with her again. 

There was a knock at the door and Dis pulled her blanket tight about her shoulders as she rose and went to answer it. She nearly dropped her ale when she opened the door to find Dwalin on the other side. Dwalin, breathless and floundering for words, mouth gaping silently and eyes wild.

“Dwalin?” Dis was beginning to panic. “Dwalin what is it? What’s wrong?”

Dwalin pinched his eyes shut for a moment, tilting his head down, then he shook off the nerves and looked up at her pleadingly.  
“Dis.” His voice nearly broke on her name, and he blew out a breath to settle himself a bit more. “Is it- am I too late?”

Dis frowned and shook her head in confusion. “Late? Too late for what?”

Dwalin took a tentative step closer, crowding her space hesitantly. He took it as a good sign she didn’t step back, and actually seemed to lean in. Dwalin set a hand on her waist and glanced quickly at her lips. “For this.” He leaned in, pressing his lips gently to hers, as though it were a question, waiting patiently for her answer.

Dis answered with fire, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulled him into her, letting their kiss deepen. 

Dwalin pulled back with a smile and chuckled at her happy giggle. 

“It will never be too late. I would wait an eternity for you,” she said, her face lit up with a beaming smile.

Dwalin set his forehead to hers and nuzzled her nose affectionately. “I’m so sorry it took so long.”


End file.
